I can text with my tongue
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
