just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
