This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
this is an emotional support booty call
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize