It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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