I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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