My sheets look like a crime scene.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need a beard to bite.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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