you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the day after is always just damage control
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
