garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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