I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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