I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
