I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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