Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
