There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
