i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
