i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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