well you can't waste a boner
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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