I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
