I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
