dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
