I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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