What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
