I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize