So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
