im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
