His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This baby is an asshole
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
