I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
