I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Just high enough for therapy.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
