A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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