I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
