just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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