I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
