I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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