Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
