i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
