You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't think brook has ever known best
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
