So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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