It's Friday. Sex?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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