He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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