can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
