Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Need sex. Gaining weight.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
