found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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