Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
