Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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