..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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