we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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