420 ftw
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
