Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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