If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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