Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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