So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
