dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You can't special order awesome
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
