Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
