There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
