Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize