This house was built for laser tag.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
